Coworker ends carpool deal after colleague keeps buying food instead of paying the agreed $50 gas money for the hour-long daily commutes: 'Find someone else to take you to work tomorrow'

Author image for Celeste Mello
Celeste Mello • Writer and Editor
Jun 30, 2026 7:15 AM EDT

Driving someone to work is not a commitment. It is a casual favor. And if the other person cannot contribute what they agreed to contribute, then they need to find another ride.

The commute was not short; it was an hour away from town, and it was every day, which means this was a big favor involving time, gas, and responsibility. The problem started when the passenger sometimes bought food instead of paying for gas. It can sound good on the surface, but that was not the deal. The agreement was gas money. And these nice gestures look more like he was trying to make it harder for the driver to call him out on what he was actually avoiding: the fact that he was not paying her for the daily commutes to work, and that it had already been three weeks.  

So the whole thing is not a misunderstanding. It's someone benefiting from the arrangement while avoiding complying with his part of the deal. The entire reason the arrangement works is that both of them put money for gas. If he doesn't, then there is no deal. Paying gas money is not a cute optional bonus. The driver had the right to request payment, as she wasn't obligated to provide endless patience. But when she finally gave him an ultimatum, he acted shocked and accused her of being aggressive, instead of acknowledging that he owed the money. Suddenly, the problem was not that he had not paid for three weeks; it was the tone and the way in which the driver requested the money from him. Now that is manipulative. 

The driver wasn't wrong for ending the agreement. In fact, it was the healthiest thing she could have done before it got worse. If you are doing someone a favor and the other person doesn't fulfill their part of the deal, makes payment feel like pulling teeth, argues over basic accountability, then they are not respecting your time. And self-respect sometimes sounds like: "find someone else to take you tomorrow".

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  • A representation of a woman driving a coworker to work while he refuses to pay the agreed gas money.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    A representation of a woman driving a coworker to work while he refuses to pay the agreed gas money.

  • AITA for refusing to keep driving a guy to and from work

    I've been driving this guy to and from work which is an hour away from the town we both live in. We agreed that i would drive him to and from work regularly in exchange for $50 a week for gas money.
    via OJ_did_it_2025
  • It is reaching the end of three weeks and the most I've gotten is half a tank of gas (about $25). The weird thing is that he
    via OJ_did_it_2025
  • kept buying me food all the time that i never asked for, but makes trying to get gas money from him like pulling teeth.
    via OJ_did_it_2025
  • Tonight I confronted him as he was getting out of my car, i said "hey I want that $50 gas money tomorrow" (i had reminded him earlier this week already
    via OJ_did_it_2025
  • and i know his cousin has been on his a about it so it's not like he had no heads up), and he turns to me with this "shocked" look on his face and says "d in why so aggressive!"
    via OJ_did_it_2025
  • I responded "I'm not being aggressive, I'm just saying i want that gas money tomorrow." He says "what you think I'm not gonna pay you or something?" To that I answered "well it's been three weeks",
    via OJ_did_it_2025
  • This model depicts a woman standing in front of her car, representing a driver who feels disrespected after giving someone regular rides to work.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    This model depicts a woman standing in front of her car, representing a driver who feels disrespected after giving someone regular rides to work.

  • and he says "well I've put gas in your car, have i not?" And i said "you gave me half a tank one time" and after that the conversation was over and I drove off feeling ped and disrespected.
    via OJ_did_it_2025
  • I ended up texting him "forget the money, deal's off, find someone else to take you to work tomorrow" because I actually have an ounce of self respect and can't let myself keep doing a favor for someone
    via OJ_did_it_2025
  • who's going to act smart with me like that. He responded with "what is it that you have against me? I've been nothing but nice to you"
    via OJ_did_it_2025
  • I feel used and disrespected. He would keep trying to lovebomb his way out of paying the gas money (i think) by buying me food as i mentioned before and the other day he threw my trash away for me
    via OJ_did_it_2025
  • This case is probably cut and dry but I am very easily manipulated and gaslit so it's very hard for me to stand up for myself.
    via OJ_did_it_2025
  • This model depicts gas pumps at a fuel station, representing the gas money conflict behind a failed carpool arrangement.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    This model depicts gas pumps at a fuel station, representing the gas money conflict behind a failed carpool arrangement.

  • It's way easier to let myself think that I'm always the one in the wrong and that's something I really want to work on for the sake of my mental health.
    via OJ_did_it_2025
  • Mamapalooza Yep, you read the situation correctly. You did good.
    via Mamapalooza
  • DogsReading Books NTA. He's trying to get a free ride with you. A cookie or whatever is not the equivalent to gas money.
    via DogsReadingBooks
  • DecemberViolet1984 No no no―you are absolutely not easily manipulated. You saw right through this guy and recognized that you were being taken advantage of. Not only that, but you called the deal off. You stood up for yourself big time. You may have had some growth moments around this area in your past, but I'd say you overcame them. NTA and good for you!
    via DecemberViolet1984
  • Status_Purchase_7904 Hé still owes you a 100.
    via Status_Purchase_7904
  • Sea_Course_7964 Honestly it's refreshing to see someone just nope out of being taken advantage of. Too many people would've kept doing it out of guilt.
    via Sea_Course_7964

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commute workplace-stories work stories gas money carpool coworkers driver workplace drama
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